Baby #2

It's inevitable. After your first child, it's only a matter of time when people start asking when baby number two is gonna happen. After my experience with Levi, I would have said that we will be pregnant in no time at all, just give me a little time to get the hang of this whole parenting thing, and Levi will have a sibling. We basically said "Hey, let's have a kid!" And God said "Okay!" I loved every minute of pregnancy. It was so exciting for me, and I didn't have any complications. 

Often times people will say "when are you gonna give that child a sister?" Or "are you going to have another?" Or whatever other innocent conversation maker they can think of relating to the fact that you should be working on the whole sibling thing. People assume you plan children, and if you aren't pregnant then it's because you don't want to be pregnant. While that can often be true for many, it is also not true for many as well.

I never went back on birth control after Levi, and we have done nothing to prevent children. We said "Whatever happens, let it happen." Well, two years later and every month is another confirmation that I need to realize that I am not in control. I didn't "decide" that Levi would come to be, he is God's creation. He decided that the timing was perfect for Levi to enter this world and He will decide when and if our time will come again. He's given us the desire for more, so I have faith that He will bless us with more, but I will also have to be okay if He chooses only to bless us with our sweet, awesome, handsome little Levi.  I mean, who wouldn't be satisfied with this sweet face?

In the end, I can't see the bigger picture, so I trust that God has a perfect plan that we are a part of. I will be happy for you when you get pregnant. I will love on your babies in the meantime, and "like" every adorable picture that I see scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, as well as every baby bump picture I see. I am excited for you, genuinely. Those pictures take me back to a happy time of pregnancy excitement and the feelings I had when we first met Levi. 

I guess this has also taught me to be careful how I ask questions. I don't get offended when people ask me questions about baby #2, but it does sort of make me sad, and the answer sort of makes me uncomfortable: "Well anytime would be good. We want more whenever God chooses." At that point people sort of feel guilty for asking, because most of the time they assumed you had it planned out: some kind of "life plan" of how many years there will be between your children, what their names will be, and their genders. Life doesn't work that way, I'm learning. Sometimes it does, but not always, or even often.

 So, in case you're wondering what our "life plan" is, it consists of trust. Trusting He knows what we need when we need it. He knows how to shape and mold me into His image, and how to teach me patience. I'm listening.