The Marriage Institution

I suppose I am old enough now that I've been married for four years, to start knowing people my own age going through very difficult times in their marriage. Of course that's not to say that my own marriage is perfect by any means, but it just saddens me to hear of so many christian marriages that fail. Our culture is definitely to blame. It's more than just the fact that divorce is so widely advised, but it's the message that society sends as a whole. "Do what makes you happy." "If your partner treats you one way, you have grounds to make demands and be selfish." "Get out if you don't feel it anymore." Marriage is NOT about feelings. It's actually not about you at all. It's really only there so that we as Christians can emulate the relationship that Christ has with the church.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ alsodoes the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Epesians 5:22-33)

This passage is not at all saying "wives do everything your husbands say." I read that passage and think that husbands have the harder of the two jobs. I read that as "Husbands, bend over backwards for your wife, love her sacrificially, and naturally, she will want to submit to you because she will respect you and feel safe. Christ died for the church because of his love for it. Therefore, be willing to sacrifice." 

"Well what if my husband isn't loving me like Christ loved the church?" I don't think the Bible ever gives commands with exceptions. Wives, show respect to your husband, even if he is not respectable. You have such an opportunity to minister to him by not being demanding. Communicate your needs, while also considering his needs from you. Most of the time there is an impasse because one is not willing to give, and it becomes a vicious cycle. "I dont respect you because you don't love me" "Well I don't love you because you don't respect me." Someone's got to give, and it has to start somewhere. If you want things to change, maybe change yourself first and see if it makes a difference. Chances are you aren't perfect and you could make those changes even if the other never does. You are not responsible for your partners actions, but you can help them by emulating how you would like to be treated. 

It is EXTREMELY difficult to put these things into practice. I know because I am STUBBORN. I didn't even know I was stubborn until I got married. I'm also always right  0:-) just kidding :). When you're mad or hurt though, most of the times those are the only things we see. We see how the other person needs to come to the end of their self, and apologize, so we kick and scream and throw a little temper tantrum until they realize this isn't going away until they apologize. Sometimes, we just have to realize though that we're not called to love ourselves, but to worry more about how we are loving the other. Our own needs should pale in comparison to the others'. If we are constantly asking ourselves "How can I show love better?" the chances are we won't be as concerned with how we are being treated, but loving more like Christ. When we are loving like Christ loved his church, the chances are that the other will also want to love you sacrificially. I wish this were an easier thing to do, but it can sometimes be the hardest thing in the world to put off selfishness and realize that even if your spouse is not perfect, you are still called to love them. 

The marriage kind of love should not be conditional. If Christ's love for us was conditional, then we would ALL be in trouble. Im thankful for His unconditional love, and I'm also thankful for a husband who does his best to love me like Christ loved the church. 

Selling our Home

It is bittersweet, but we very much would like to sell our first home. We have been renting it out for the past year, but ideally, we would love for it to be out of our hair. It is not the easiest to be a landlord from 700 miles away, and the time has come for us to move again, and this time we will be buying again. If you know of anyone who is moving in the Winston Salem, NC area please consider showing them this post! Im mainly posting this on here so that I can pin the pictures on pinterest, and get even more exposure that way. We have made so many wonderful memories here, as it was our first home, and a lot of hard work has gone into making it our little dream home. We also started our little family here, and watched our son take his first steps in this home. We loved it, but it is time to say goodbye for good!

This is a 3 bed 2 1/2 bath 1700 ft2 located in Saponi Village in Winston Salem, NC and we are asking 139,500. New windows downstairs and in the master bedroom, new gutters and drain system, New HVAC as of 2012, completely remodeled. Thank you to Joey Benedict for her awesome photography!

large open kitchen

split level (this is coming in from the front door)

guest room/nursery/office

bedroom

guest bath

master suite with HUGE walk-in closet

gorgeous master bathroom

new landscaping

Happy 4 years to my amazing husband of 4 years!
...and happy 2nd birthday to our precious gift from Above!

Blessed Redeemer

Up Calvary's mountain one dreadful morn

Walked Christ my Savior, weary and worn

Facing for sinners death on the cross

That He might save them from endless loss

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer

Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree

Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading

Blind and unheeding, dying for me

"Father, forgive them," my Savior prayed

Even while His lifeblood flowed fast away

Praying for sinners while in such woe

No one but Jesus ever loved so

Dying for me

Oh how I love Him, Savior and friend

How can my praises ever find end

Through years unnumbered on Heaven's shore

My songs shall praise Him forevermore

Tonight as I laid with Levi before laying him in his crib I sang him these lyrics. I was very humbled by the simple truth of these powerful words. Growing up in church your whole life you hear the message of the gospel so many times that it sometimes can become just another thing that you "believe." I believe that Jesus died for me, a sinner who is in need of saving from eternal damnation. I am supposed to spend time daily reading the bible in hopes that while I read, He will talk to me and we can have a relationship. I will refrain from certain things because He told me not to, and I will try to do good things because He told me to do them. When I do the things I'm not supposed to do, all I need to do is ask for forgiveness and then try not to do it again. 

While I don't have a problem with the truth of those things, I think there is something missing. There is something so much bigger and more complex about the gospel message than just belief in Christ and reading the bible and doing good. So complex, actually, that I think I could probably seriously learn new things everyday about how I should live. I mean, Jesus DIED for ME! 

Those of you who know me would probably say I am a good person. I am generally nice and go to church and am a good mom. I love my husband. I don't drink or do drugs. I don't sin big. I am a "good" Christian. I know what I should do and what I shouldn't do and I try to do those things. I havent "built a graven image" to worship as an idol, but I have had idols in my life: iPhone, iPad, TV, being a good mom, being a good wife...even putting so much emphasis on pointing Levi to Christ, while I neglect my own walk. I let God down so much everyday that I am sure He sometimes thinks that I am so hardheaded that it might just take a miracle to get my attention.  When I think about how I let Him down, I know I am no better than anyone. I needed Him just as much as the Boston bombers need Him. My sin is just as bad. My sin has kept me from living in the total power of Christ. MY SIN KEPT JESUS ON THE CROSS. 

I should be living every day indebted to Him and serving Him. I should never even think to question something He has told me to do. I should never hold a grudge, because what I've done to Christ is far worse than anything anyone has ever done to me, and he still died for me. I have no room to be unloving. I have no grounds to be unforgiving. I should never be discontent. I have everything I should need to be joyful. I should be thanking Him for every breath I breathe as well as every breathe He allows for my family to breathe. I should be living by faith and clinging to the promises God has given me, and not by fear or by what comes naturally. 

That is truely what it means to believe. 

Mississippi Bound

I know, it's been a while. The last few months have been very life-changing for our little family. Curan has successfully completed Officer Training School giving him probably the biggest promotion he will receive, we no longer live in our home we put so much TLC into and it is now being rented out to strangers (hey, we're landlords!), and we packed up all of our belongings and moved 12 hours away from friends and family...our first big military move. This move will undoubtedly be the hardest one that we will have to make, especially since we will be here for such a short period of time, and where we will be more permanently is still pending. 

So far, Biloxi is interesting, but I try to focus on the positives, and the fact that the negatives are only negatives for a few months. We are renting a two bedroom condo off of base that has a pool right in front of our balcony. We enjoy our balcony, and it gives Levi lots of room to run around and play on his little slide. We came to Mississippi in the months following the sweltering heat, so that is one advantage for us. We live within walking distance to the beach...which is more "lake-like" than what those in NC think of when they think of beaches. They are still pretty to look at while driving or walking by. We seem to have found a church we are interested in attending while we are here and are excited to try to get involved. 

Levi has adjusted well, even through the train that comes by and shakes the condo about 4-5 times a day/night. I know he misses his family and little nursery friends, but he has gotten a chance to play with a few other babies in the church nursery and the random times we go on base and play on the playground. He has developed a little bit of a shyness towards strangers though since we have been here. He got a chance to see Sesame Street Live which he enjoyed, but didn't understand why he couldn't run around and dance like all of the other kids :). I let him down once and he darted off, so back into the baby carrier he went. Poor kid. His vocabulary is starting to grow and he seems to be quite the chatterbox these days. Our favorite word he says is "bye" because of the thick southern accent that comes with it and the expression that he puts into the word. It melts our hearts :) He seemingly has a favorite book that he likes me to read over and over again, which is cute and annoying all at the same time lol.

Curan's Parade

Just after pinning his gold 2nd Lieutenant bars 

Packing our belongings

Levi saying goodbye to his best friend

Levi playing on the pier on base

In awe of Gods beauty

Sesame Street Live!

Hello everyone! I thought I would give a quick update, and share with some of the ones who don't have facebook some of our new pictures. Before Curan left, some of our sunday school class got together some money for us to get family pictures done for my birthday! It was very sweet of them, and our family pictures are some of my favorite things that we have. Here are a few of my favorites...taken by J&A photography!

 

For all of those wondering how Curan is doing, he seems to be doing a lot better this week than last week. He is super busy, with about 30 hours of work to get done in a 24 hour period of time. He gets very little sleep and very little time to eat, so he said that he leaves meal time hungry. They have to memorize two quotes per day, plus a whole lot of other military history and protocol which they have to be able to recite at any given point throughout their 13 weeks. Needless to say, he is very stressed, but doing his very best to keep his eye on the goal.

Levi and I are doing well. We can get a little bored sometimes, but Netflix and outings throughout the week tend to help with that. He is eating a whole lot of food for such a little guy, and only weighs 17 lbs 11 oz putting him in the 4th percentile for weight. He's very active, though so the doctor seems to think that is about where he is supposed to be. He is still trying to walk, and has been standing up by himself without pulling up on anything. He is such a sweet little guy to have around!

Anyway, that's about all for now! Hope you all have a great week!

Our Crazy Life

Well, I have been thinking for a while about starting a blog especially since we will be moving shortly, and this will be a good way for people to keep up with how we are and what we are doing. I suppose I will start with what is going on now! Curan is gone until the end of August, and Levi and I are on our own! It is definitely an adjustment to be a "single" mom, but I think we are managing fairly well. We have a lot of people that are willing to help out, and that have shown a great deal of concern for us. Thanks to everyone who has reached out! Even if it was just to say that you are here for us if we need you, you really have no idea how much that means. We will soon be in a place where it will be much more difficult to find people who are so caring.

Levi is acting different since Curan has been gone, and I know that he really misses his daddy. He is learning new things everyday, and it amazes me so much to see all that his little brain is starting to comprehend. He is really just a joy to have and I thank God everyday that he blessed us with such an awesome, adorable, smart little boy (I'm not biased at all :-) ). He has taken 3 steps so far, and is really trying to work up the courage to start full on walking. He will pull up on the couch, raise his arms up in the air with a sheepish grin as if to say "Im gonna do it!" and then falls. Soon, though, I know I will be chasing him everywhere.

Well I suppose that is about it for now! Thanks for reading :)